I can do anything that I want cauz look

So like undergrads everywhere, graduation scares the hell out of me. I don't know where this sentiment came from but I feel like I've heard it expressed in different places. The one that comes to mind is fight club.

You are not snowflakes.

Not everyone is an astronaut when they grow up.

I keep trying to write this post and keep thinking to myself, "Fuck, Fuck fuck fuck fuck".
Really, this is coming down to the existentialist point of what is the point? Which is a very good question.

I mean you keep coming back to the same question of why why why why why?

So there i sit in an office, unhappy and for what? For what exactly? Well the short end answer is money. I need money to do cool things. I never understood people who traded away their happiness for money. All the grad students who have no free time and get no personal enjoyment out of anything. Sure some people enjoy being a lawyer or a doctor or find their studies compelling, but I feel like the large majority don't. My question is why doesn't it bother them but it bothers me. The constant work, the feeling of being a drone. i mean what exactly is the point of all of this. "Life is what you make it make it good."

The best part is many people would love to have jobs right now. If i had the choice between work and starvation or work and housing would that make it better. Would i enjoy work then and be grateful for the opportunity. Maybe it's because I still hold out the hope that there is something worth doing that I will enjoy doing. I don't know. (no one ever does)

I find interesting parallels to this situation I'm in (ie Routinely depressed to get up and go to work in the morning) and The Matrix. Free your mind, being the main point of that movie (well the first one anyway), is an excellent mantra. Once you free your mind you can do anything. The mind must be truly freed though. The mind be liberated from restriction, law, society, and morality. It must be subject to know will but its own. And then the mind can accomplish anything.

I say this because if my mind were free. Free from parents, free from money, I would be in Boston right now having a great time.

Neo is symbolic of this freedom too (well obviously). I mean it in the sense that he is only one. He is only one because so few people can accept the consequences of freedom. The abandonment of family and friends (though he has none which makes it easier). The merciless pursuit of the enforcers of the minds incarceration (agents). I mean if I tried to free myself from the American system I would face many problems. Food would be chief among them. How do u feed yourself with no job? ....Steal. Stealing is generally frowned upon thus a problem.

The opposition towards mental liberation is strong. Furthermore, most restriction to freedom enforces some kind of routine. Routine is the enemy of creativity the only weapon with which to free the mind. Basically when things go downhill they go downhill in a hurry.

The most annoying part about this whole debate is I cannot figure out if this is a legitmate concern or just something I need to get over. I seriously hope its not the latter.