I got a feeling

Last night i went out to dinner. got drunk off of wine. came back, sobered up. faced a joint. went back to a bar like 2 seconds away from where i was at dinner. this is with different people though. then proceeded to drink many guiness and dance with many women.

this morning. slept through my first 2 classes. played call of duty through the third. lit another joint. and now i'm in class for variety.


so the only class i went to today i went to high. this year needs to end soon. before i completely bomb out of school.

i had an interview yesterday before the ensuing madness. i think it went pretty well
i just erased this website link from facebook so that my interviews dont find it and read the above
and if they do then
...hi beth.
yea so life is good.

party tonight. our friend jinhee with whom we went to the bar with last night. your all invited.
and bring your friends.

fill up my cup
mazel tov
look at her dancing
just t-take it ... off
we'll shut it down
let's burn the roof
and then we'll do it again.

hurray!
also please look at all the pictures on this page.
http://www.flickriver.com/photos/dinosonic/popular-interesting/

professor is here now and i should probably pay attention
though i think i will probably keep listening to music.
miss you all
PEACE

Abstraction

I had a realization today in class. I've spent my last 3 years give or take learning (and struggling) to make a bunch of lights display a bunch of different lights. I think I am going insane. I mean really thats all computing is. Making a bunch of lights arrange themselves in the desired configuration. This would be a much better name than computer programmer. Master of lights. or the Lightbringer. I quit. I never want to think again. Let's move to the forest or to a small island somewhere. Follow me. Follow me to freedom.

Art is Hard

I have dreamed a dream, but now that dream is gone from me.
.
..
...

That is really all that need be said, but I suppose for lack of anything else to do in this hotel room, I'll pontificate. Briefly.

The matrix it turns out was right about everything as the quote above would seem to indicate. Also matrices are bad as is clearly indicated by a) the movies and b) mo-mor-puggers.

Sigh, I feel so damn emo right now. I really don't want to turn this into a rant. I do want to shape my feelings into arguments, mold my convictions into unwavering logic that would solve all the problems before me, and convert the non-believers to my manifest conclusions ( also possibly converting them into radioactive vapor).

Maybe I just deal poorly with change. I had this naive theory that we would all live together at some point. This theory is clearly flawed in its assumptions that this would be plausible. I don't know.

Coherence. I crave the ability to extract from my imagination the wisp of an idea and brand it into form. A form like prose. This would be most useful. If only I was an artist.

O Happy Times

From Greg Easterbrook @ Espn.com

Sand Trap on Obama's Fairway: Federal borrowing during the final two years of the George W. Bush administration, and now the first year of the Barack Obama administration, has reached the level of shocking. World War II cost about $4 trillion in today's dollars -- the Congressional Budget Office figures show the decade starting with Bush's final two budgets until fiscal 2017 will add $11 trillion in federal borrowing, at current rates. That's more than the entire national debt was in early 2008. This furious, irresponsible borrowing -- gleefully endorsed by both political parties, since the money is being lavished on the special interest groups who ensure the re-elections of members of Congress by donating to their campaigns -- is especially disturbing because there is no national emergency. The United States is tapping out its ability to borrow, leaving nothing in reserve, so that irresponsible members of Congress of both parties can lavish subsidies and tax favors on interest groups. Why aren't the young shocked? Almost all the honey is going to people from middle age on up, with the bill being handed to the young, who will pay and pay and pay all their lives for the favors the Baby Boomers running the country are so cynically awarding to themselves and their financial backers.

Bad as current borrowing is, more demands for special giveaways are looming in Obama's path. As soon as the dust settles on the restructuring of General Motors and Chrysler, the United Auto Workers may demand that its concessions be restored, at taxpayer expense. (More on that in a coming TMQ.) The states, showered with $135 billion in borrowed money during the first Obama stimulus package, already are agitating for another giveaway. (More on that coming too.) The monster problem looming is this: For the first time in the history of the Social Security system, recipients will not receive a cost-of-living increase when the new year begins. The Social Security checks that arrive in January 2010 won't be any bigger than previous checks. (Owing to details of the prescription-drug benefit, some checks may be a little bit smaller -- by two or three dollars per month -- than at the same time last year.) Senior citizen lobbies are likely to go ballistic.

There's a good reason why Social Security checks won't be bigger -- no inflation. The Social Security cost of living adjustment system is designed to compensate for rising costs, and the cost of living is not rising. Indeed, in the past 12 months, the Consumer Price Index has declined 2.1 percent. The enabling statutes of the Social Security program say that if prices don't rise, no COLA, which makes perfectly good sense. It's just that prices have never gone an entire year without rising, so there's never been a no-COLA January. To a retiree on a fixed income, rising costs are awful, while declining costs are a godsend. Because the CPI has gone down, seniors as a group are slightly better off financially in 2009 than they were in 2008. (Obviously, there are some individuals with financial problems.) So there's no need for a Social Security benefits increase, and no common sense justification for one. That will not prevent the senior citizens' lobby, more potent than the oil lobby or farm lobby, from howling.

TMQ fears that whenever it sinks in on seniors that no COLA increase is coming in 2010, they will barrage congressional delegations and the White House with demands for a special giveaway. Illogical appeals will be used and repeated in the media, such as, "We need extra money because of the crisis!" In politics, everything's a crisis -- a bright sunny day is a crisis if the interest group in your district sells flashlights. Or, "Our housing values are down, it's a crisis!" Housing prices are indeed down from their 2006 peak, but the typical American dwelling is still worth nearly 50 percent more than in 2000. That's no crisis. If anything, the recession has slightly aided seniors, who enjoy the deflationary benefits of falling prices but in most cases are not harmed by employment trends because they are retired anyway.

Senior lobbies demanding a special handout will skip over the fact that senior households have the highest median net worth of any age group, much higher than the net worth of the under-35 age group that would be compelled to fund any special Social Security increase; or that seniors have a lower poverty rate than the nation as a whole. They'll skip over the complication that the typical current Social Security recipient will receive about three times as much as he or she paid into the system, plus interest, while people now under the age of 35 will be lucky to get back half what they will pay into Social Security, plus interest. (That Social Security is a "savings" program is total fiction -- it is an income-transfer program, from today's workers to today's pensioners.) They'll skip over the fact that owing to a quirk in Social Security rules, recipients received an unusually high 5.8 percent COLA in January 2009, even though there was essentially zero inflation in the previous year. (The calculation formula for Social Security COLAs drastically overstated the temporary 2008 spike in gasoline prices.) One reason federal borrowing has shot up is that Social Security recipients got a 2009 bonus they shouldn't have received. This may not stop them from demanding an extra giveaway in January 2010 -- a giveaway that could only be financed by still more borrowing. Obama must show resolve and not give in to another multibillion-dollar borrowing-based handout. If he gives in, all semblance of fiscal discipline in Washington may collapse -- and liberal government may be discredited for a generation, which is not in the interest of senior citizens.

The Owl God Demands Sacrifice

I don't know if I should put this in writing lest my current or future employers track this down, but I just spent the better part of the last 3 days watching all the zero punctuations to date. It is through this venture that I learned that the Internet is a very clever tool. A tool to separate idiots from their money. With this in mind, I think it's high time that I came up with a clever idea to cause people to give my massive amounts of currency (preferably via the internet, so that I could work from home). Here are the tentative steps of this play:

(1) increase the traffic on this website
(2) begin exploitation of traffikers

The brilliance of this plan is in the phrasing since no one will care if you exploit a traffiker because hey they're traffiking something (in this case themselves). Please list any exploitative ideas here so that I might steal them and deftly implement them.

Delta W Over Delta T

Mondays are like the paparazzi if you're famous. You know they're there and you know they are coming, but you would never guess they would come so fast, so effectively, and so ruthlessly.

And yet there is nothing to be done about it. Well that's not entirely accurate. Every problem has a solution and if your enemy is time (or in this case dates) then just destroy the clock (or in this case calendar). Let get out of the world of time. Stop working and stop living by dates. Then mondays become sunny days which are ultimately much better. How much of their lives has the past three generations thrown away cooped up in their offices? Too much I don't doubt it. So much time lost exploring the outdoors or spending time with their families and loved ones. In the name of what exactly? Money. It's more than that though. It's power. Marx was wrong when he said religion was the opiate of the masses. It's power or the illusion thereof. Religion is just one road to it. It's power over death, over the unknown. Capitalism gives power through monetary means. Power over fellow men. Both systems give the potential for power too. Meaning in both religion and capitalism, power is promised to the people. It is achievable if only they follow a set of rules. Whether its attaining atonement or climbing the corporate latter.

Prove or disprove that point. Power is the opiate of the masses and all societal institutions are designed for the consolidation or dispersion of power. By that I mean, if people aren't in a position to wield power they are cowed by the promise of it one day (or I suppose to be more Machievellian cowed by the fear of the power). At worst this is a new way of stating some old ideas. At best its a new way of thinking about the world (at least its new to me). I mean the assertion is obvious, people crave power. My question is does motivation explain broad scale behavior at a nation-state and institutional level?


Back to small scale applications
Clearly, I'm not happy with the way I'm going about achieving power. Fueled by greed, I can't be bothered to take the long way (long working hours) of achieving power. I also can't think of any thing that would short circuit the system and propel me straight to the top. One option (and I want to say only other option left) is to redefine my worldview in such a way so that the power I have is more meaningful. Ie say fuck it leave this boring job and go do something cool and support myself through whatever means. The power that would bring is freedom, power of action. I guess it is not so much of a redefining as it is a summoning of courage to burst from the mold I've been forced into. The fear that keeps me rooted to my seat even now is the fear of failure or in these terms the fear of becoming powerless. O what a to-do.

On a final note, I just looked up the scientific definition of power because I was curious. Change in work over change in time. Meaning, scientifically, to be powerful you have to do more work over less time whereas all I want to do is less work over more time. Interesting.

and once again I am beaten to the punch. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_(philosophy)
One day I will have a thought and it will be truly original

I can do anything that I want cauz look

So like undergrads everywhere, graduation scares the hell out of me. I don't know where this sentiment came from but I feel like I've heard it expressed in different places. The one that comes to mind is fight club.

You are not snowflakes.

Not everyone is an astronaut when they grow up.

I keep trying to write this post and keep thinking to myself, "Fuck, Fuck fuck fuck fuck".
Really, this is coming down to the existentialist point of what is the point? Which is a very good question.

I mean you keep coming back to the same question of why why why why why?

So there i sit in an office, unhappy and for what? For what exactly? Well the short end answer is money. I need money to do cool things. I never understood people who traded away their happiness for money. All the grad students who have no free time and get no personal enjoyment out of anything. Sure some people enjoy being a lawyer or a doctor or find their studies compelling, but I feel like the large majority don't. My question is why doesn't it bother them but it bothers me. The constant work, the feeling of being a drone. i mean what exactly is the point of all of this. "Life is what you make it make it good."

The best part is many people would love to have jobs right now. If i had the choice between work and starvation or work and housing would that make it better. Would i enjoy work then and be grateful for the opportunity. Maybe it's because I still hold out the hope that there is something worth doing that I will enjoy doing. I don't know. (no one ever does)

I find interesting parallels to this situation I'm in (ie Routinely depressed to get up and go to work in the morning) and The Matrix. Free your mind, being the main point of that movie (well the first one anyway), is an excellent mantra. Once you free your mind you can do anything. The mind must be truly freed though. The mind be liberated from restriction, law, society, and morality. It must be subject to know will but its own. And then the mind can accomplish anything.

I say this because if my mind were free. Free from parents, free from money, I would be in Boston right now having a great time.

Neo is symbolic of this freedom too (well obviously). I mean it in the sense that he is only one. He is only one because so few people can accept the consequences of freedom. The abandonment of family and friends (though he has none which makes it easier). The merciless pursuit of the enforcers of the minds incarceration (agents). I mean if I tried to free myself from the American system I would face many problems. Food would be chief among them. How do u feed yourself with no job? ....Steal. Stealing is generally frowned upon thus a problem.

The opposition towards mental liberation is strong. Furthermore, most restriction to freedom enforces some kind of routine. Routine is the enemy of creativity the only weapon with which to free the mind. Basically when things go downhill they go downhill in a hurry.

The most annoying part about this whole debate is I cannot figure out if this is a legitmate concern or just something I need to get over. I seriously hope its not the latter.

Pretty much the truth

from Bill Simmons @ espn.com:

I woke up six minutes into "The Hills" and the Sports Gal refused to change the channel because Audrina slept in Brody Jenner's bed in Hawaii and Brody's Playmate girlfriend was furious about it. These are the moments when Bruce Jenner feels proud for all the sacrifices he made trying to win that Olympic gold medal in 1976. But this led to an awesome moment in Twisted Female Logic when Audrina's friend LC then blamed Brody for not sticking up for Audrina and siding with his girlfriend because it was Brody's fault that he didn't kick Audrina out of his bed because he was in a relationship and Audrina was single, so, really, it was up to HIM to do the right thing. No blame for Audrina for going after someone else's dude? Really, LC? I sided with Brody, the Sports Gal sided with LC, and I'm ashamed to admit we actually argued about this for 20 minutes.

My argument in three parts: (A) Audrina is a tramp, (B) all women are natural enemies even if they pretend this isn't the case, and (C) a single woman will always do whatever it takes to land someone as appealing as Bruce Jenner's untalented but handsome son, even if it means seducing him on a reality-TV show and promising secrecy with him even though that show will be airing two months later.

The Sports Gal refused to admit I was right and claims she knows plenty of women who wouldn't do this. When I asked her to name these women, she named a bunch of her married friends, which indirectly proved my point: nearly all SINGLE woman between the ages of 25-40 will do whatever it takes to land an appealing male, even if that means trashing whatever female code of ethics that allegedly exists. This is why woman don't trust other woman. This is why Hollywood makes movies in which Ali Larter tries to steal Stringer Bell from Beyonce. You never see a movie in which Stringer Bell tries to steal Beyonce from Omar Epps. Why? Because no guy would like that movie. It would just make us angry. We would sit there thinking, "That's not cool; this would never happen." But if I took the Sports Gal to see "Obsessed," she would say, "I can't believe Beyonce is letting this happen," or "I would have sniffed this girl out 20 minutes ago." In other words, SHE WOULD IDENTIFY WITH BEYONCE'S CHARACTER just because they're both women and they know how other women operate!!!!! You're damned right I had to use CAPS and three exclamation points. Sorry, I win this argument. I just do.

LOLZ

from greg easterbrook page 2 on espn.com (image of starbuck deleted to protect the eyes of the innocent):

Series Finale of "Battlestar Galactica" Complaints: In the final episode of this six-year television project, the survivors of a nuclear attack against a distant star system destroy the stronghold of the evil cyborgs, thus winning the war, then fly their fleet to Earth, arriving 150,000 years ago. Finally we know when the events of the series were taking place. Landing on the African veldt at a time when Homo sapiens idaltu was learning to use tools -- we see a hunter-gatherer party in the distance -- the 38,000 remaining members of the Kobol society vote to scuttle their super-advanced starships into the sun and forsake technology. They vow to stop building factories and cities, and live as simple farmers: One character declares that science always leads to war, and they must not infect Earth with that dark impulse. The result is that the civilization Galactica represented fades from history. Long before our forebears began domesticating wheat by the banks of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, all knowledge from the 12 worlds of Kobol had been lost.

This is the concept for a great, even moving series ending. Instead the ending was frustrating and perplexing. There's never any convincing reason why people arriving at a verdant planet aboard faster-than-light starships would decide to give up all technology and learning. Would you vote to surrender the ability to make power generators, steel plows and antibiotics? I especially didn't buy that having enduring awful suffering to reach a safe destination, the last of an old, proud civilization would agree to adopt a subsistent lifestyle and gradually die off, leaving no trace they ever existed. If they left no record of themselves, the billions who perished in the nuclear cataclysm at their home planets would be forgotten. The finale also was a letdown from a storytelling standpoint. In a two-hour, 11-minute finale of a series that set television's record for total air time devoted to exposition, at the end, precious little was explained. The show generated 74 episodes of encyclopedic detail about characters' backstories and dating histories, and how participants in a space war behaved during battle, then told almost nothing about what happened once the battle ended. I would have liked some denouement on what occurred in the characters' lives beyond the first few days when they arrived at Earth and wandered awestruck through its meadows. A lot of storyboard was left on the table -- central character William Adama's eventual death on the African plain, for instance, or whether trying to influence the development of Earth's culture by communicating with early humans would do more harm than good. The latter is the core question of all legends and scripture about contact between God or the gods and early man. For a series that devoted substantial dialogue blocks to pseudo-theology babble, a chance to take a crack at a genuine theology question was whiffed.

The reimagined "Battlestar Galactica" was well above the norm for television, outstanding in some respects. The scene in which Adama makes, alone, a final nostalgic flight from the abandoned smashed-up battlestar, while flashing back to the moment he almost quit the military for a cushy defense-contractor job -- if he'd done that, no one would have survived the nuclear attack -- is as near as sci-fi comes to art. Look closely: As Adama, piloting a fighter, circles the once-mighty starcruiser where he spent his adult life, silently regarding the ship, the serene Earth revolving in the background, on his craft's windshield a faint reflection can be seen of the fighter's battle-management display, no longer needed but still scanning nearby space for targets. And it was nice that after episode upon episode of unremitting slaughter and pessimism, the final 40 minutes showed the survivors in a peaceful setting, released from their personal demons. But that 40 minutes was the most interesting sequence in the series. I would rather have seen more of the series spent on what happened at the end, less on long-running "Battlestar Galactica" kill-timers such as visions involving ruined temples. It's as if the scriptwriters just could not function without a stereotypical good-versus-evil combat plotline to hang the action on.

[+] Enlarge

Gregg DeGuire/WireImage"Is that a 'Battlestar Galactica' script in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?"

And now the incredible series finale of "Battlestar Galactica" complaints:

• Early in the series the 10-foot-tall Cylon battle bots were depicted as having such strong armor it was impossible to kill one without explosives. In the final battle, small-arms fire not only kills them easily, they go flying backward when hit.

• For the climactic confrontation, Galactica discovers the location of the cyborg stronghold, a mega-enormous starship perhaps 50 miles long. The vessel is parked just above the event horizon of a black hole. If you were a malevolent life form whose continued existence hinged on protecting a mega-enormous starship, would you position the ship directly above a black hole -- where, during a battle, it might fall in? Which, needless to say, is what happens.

• Galactica and the civilian vessels she is protecting wander space for years looking for Earth, while suffering regular attacks and having no repair facility or supply depot to call at. Yet they never run out of food, fuel, ammunition or medical supplies, and Galactica's stores contain a seemingly inexhaustible quantity of whiskey.

• The recurring visions characters experienced -- such as a foretelling of five glowing people on a balcony, realized at the culmination of the last battle -- could have occurred only if some higher being already knew Galactica's future. If some higher being already knew the future, why did they have to go through all that?

• Numerous studly males wander the corridors of Galactica, but the attractive women have little interest in them. The space babes have the hots for a nerdy scientist and a 60-ish balding colonel. TMQ has long contended that because many Hollywood scripts are written by guys who always flunk out with girls, cinema often depicts a reality in which good-looking young women crave sex with geeky, overweight or aging men. Talk about science fiction!

• In the very last scene, set in the present day, two never-explained supernatural manifestations reflect that a girl brought to Earth aboard Galactica became Mitochondrial Eve. Clever touch -- we all carry a bit of DNA that evolved on a distant planet. But this plot twist means a gentle child of a futuristic space-faring culture, or at least her immediate matrilineal offspring, grew up to have sex with cavemen. Doesn't sound likely. The final subplot "arc" involved a succession of bloody battles over the girl, who had a human father and machine mother, and was kidnapped by the Cylons' sinister leader. Several times it was declared that without the hybrid child, the human race would fall extinct. Why? There were 38,000 survivors when Earth was reached -- ample men and women to begin populating a world. That any one child was crucial to reproduction was illogical, to put it mildly.

• Setting foot on Earth, Adama marvels it is "1 million light-years" from home. The Milky Way is 100,000 light-years across, while the next closest galaxy, Andromeda, is 1.5 million light-years distant. If you traveled 1 million light-years in any direction from Earth, you'd end up in the intergalactic void: the worlds of Kobol either were much closer to Earth than a million light-years, or much farther away. Considering dozens of people worked on the Battlestar series for six years, couldn't someone have fact-checked basic astronomy references? (This recalls the first "Star Wars" movie, which drew groans by referring to a parsec as a measure of time rather than of astronomical length.) Plus, previously viewers were told that Galactica had outdated engines capable of traversing only short hyperspace distances, and that structural fatigue from repeated passage through hyperspace restricted the ship to moving no more than a few light-years at a time. A few episodes before the finale, Galactica arrived at a planet described as 2,000 light-years from its home star system. So how, in its final leap, did Galactica travel 998,000 light-years?

• Throughout the series, the Baltar character conversed with a spirit-image of the Caprica character, and vice versa. In the finale, the Baltar and Caprica avatars appeared together to the flesh-and-blood Baltar and Caprica. Then in the very last scene, Baltar and Caprica were seen conversing in present-day New York City -- actually, present-day Vancouver, British Columbia. Anyway who were these beings? There were references to crew members believing angels were aboard Galactica. If angels intervene in the mortal world, why didn't they prevent numerous human tragedies? And were the spirits walking the Vancouver streets at the conclusion the same ones who appeared in the far past during the show, or angels of the flesh-and-blood Baltar and Caprica, by then long since dead? The beings simply were never identified. To have a central running plot element never explained is a cop-out. But quite a handy deus ex machina gimmick for scriptwriters who have dug themselves into a ditch.

• Then there's Starbuck. Ace pilot Kara Thrace is taught a mysterious melody as a child; as an adult, endlessly draws a mysterious mandala; is the subject of mysterious prophecies by sundry clairvoyants; halfway through the series is visited by a spirit who tells her she must die to fulfill her destiny and commits suicide by flying her space fighter into a mysterious energy vortex that looks exactly like the mysterious mandala. Her fighter explodes and her corpse is found. Two months later she returns, resurrected, and even has a brand-new ship in factory-fresh condition. The guidance device on her mysterious new fighter leads the fleet to Old Earth, a cyborg planet obliterated by nuclear war. A spirit-image of her dead father reveals that the notes in her childhood song can be converted into numerals. In the finale, as Galactica is about to fall into the black hole, she realizes the numbers are hyperspace coordinates; she punches them into the stardrive and Galactica materializes above our world, saving the day. Standing on the lush pastures of ancient Africa, Kara declares her purpose is complete, and vanishes into thin air.

None of this is ever explained. "What am I!" the resurrected Starbuck shouts in torment at several points. Viewers never find out; we don't even find out where her brand-new spaceship came from. Even if, as the Greeks believed, the gods toy with mortals for amusement, Kara Thrace was the cheapest cop-out in the history of screenwriting. Here, series producer Ronald Moore admits to Newark Star-Ledger reporter Alan Sepinwall that Starbuck and the angel characters made no sense. Never explaining them kept the show interesting right up to the end, Moore contends. It's a lot easier to be a television producer if you can create mysterious paranormal characters that keep viewers watching for six years awaiting the explanation, then not be bothered producing the explanation.

we've gone round in circles lads back on the boats

I am thinking myself into circles right now. But heres another cool idea. humans as computers. Basically humans are a function in the comp sci sense of the word. They are passed data (sensory experience, previous knowledge), perform computations, and generate output (our lives). Thats kind of a cool way to think about it right? is thinking about it this way helpful in any way? idk i think its basically another way of stating the transformation idea but i'm going to stop thinking right now because I'm getting myself confused.

On the plus side I went home this weekend. It was warm and full of friendship and good times and an 10 mile hike. There are 17 + 31 = 48 days until I go home for the summer. /sigh

0 days and this morning.

We are going in the wrong direction

... do not under any circumstances ask for directions.


So after reading some thoughts from my New York counterpart, I thought I'd explore some consequences of my n-dimensional to x-dimensional mapping theory (where n > x). There are at least 2 important mappings (and as always probably more). First there is the mapping of the scientific world ie the real world into the sensory world of human experience. This definitely happens. The easiest examples are things like sound and light. There is a small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum we perceive. (roughly wavelengths 400 nm - 700 nm). The rest of the information in the spectrum is lost (to our senses).
Second there is the mapping of the possible to the realm of experience. (ie the life is this mapping).

...

Okay, so I started writing about the second mapping and as I was writing I had to do some serious thinkin to sort out my thoughts. I want to make some statements about whether this mapping is one to one or onto or anything like that but I ran into a wall. Basically, I need to do some research before I talk anymore about the mappings. The question I have right now is say you have two groups of numbers: A and B. You can only look at the numbers in B. You know some kind of transformation takes place between A and B. It might be one to one and onto for all you know. However all you can do is look at the numbers in B, so what can you know about A? That is the question.

This question rests on all kinds of suppositions. Most notably that if something is true mathematically it will be true everywhere. This seems like an okay supposition because as far as we know math is not limited by dimensional experience. Meaning math theory can explain things in higher dimensions that we could never comprehend. That last sentence is definately true, but I dont know to what degree. If this supposition is true then this whole thinking about reality as a transformation from one set to another is perfectly valid. This is good because this is a helpful way to think about things.

The second major supposition is that there is some reality beyond human experience which the sensory perceptive complex that is the human mind transforms into our percieved reality. (That is to say that we are in a cave, and there is a "real world" outside). However, my transformation theory accounts for this. The transformation I'm so concerned with could turn out to be a transformation that is one-to-one, onto, and empty. That is to say it does nothing. Given x it returns x. (I think that this is unlikely at this point but it is possible).

So there it is. Man, clearly I am going in the wrong direction here. In conclusion we dont see all the colors that exist and humans experience what they experience. Man it sure took a lot of time to say nothing.

and I will be Will Smith

All I'm saying is we need a good alien invasion to pull the world together

Sharing is caring

what to do what to do what to do what to do?
is there any thing that can be done?
We are bored.

There was rioting in England yesterday. Huge crowds mobbed banks. Rough man.
Time to reexamine capitalism again. 99% of the wealth concentrated into 1% of the people.
God damn college and its liberal effects. Alright coherency set go.

Today I walked home from school imagining the effects of rioting and open warfare on the BC area. That was weird. All I know is if I were home I would never be able to have such thoughts. Why would you riot in the sun? I dont understand the world. I don't understand how people can do such terrible things to other people. This sounds like such a pussy opinion. Break the cycle man. Maybe thats part of it. I've grown up in the world where if you would never kill someone over anything. Petty disputes are settled by dislike not violence. But then i've never really gone without anything that I really needed so maybe I dont know what it is like to be that desperate.
I definately dont know that.

So tonight I will go out. And in the dark parts of the world people will sit on the opposite side of two lines trying not to get killed.

When i think that thought I can only think that school doesnt seem that important. And that surely there is something that can be done to help the state of the world. That all i'm doing right now is killing time. Thats the worst feeling of all.

A short story

There was once a boy who late on Monday evening gazing out from his third story loft decided to write a story about another boy who would run away from his third story loft and live by whatever means he had available mainly stealing to get by but living an exciting life; using different M.O.'s to keep the police from catching onto him and drifting from city to city. He would keep a rotation of M.O.'s. So that if caught he could frame someone else for a crime he committed. (Having committed all the crimes, he could arrange all the evidence to frame anyone). And so he would bounce around from city to city keeping an all together unboring life. But then the first boy decided to go and make soup instead.
..
..
..
wtb adventures

Only dream I ever have...Every time I shut my eyes...Its always the same.

In the morning after I wake up, before I open my eyes, I see the home. I see waves on a cerulean ocean. I see sun. I see golden hills. Golden in the sense of chocolate chip cookies. Burnt grass dotted with chocolate bushes. I stand on the top of a ridge and watch as the heat refracts the surrounding hills.
At night projecting on my eyelids before unconsciousness takes me, I see the fading light of the summer sun. The world bathed red and orange as the world is lit ablaze in ebbing day. I see late nights spent in a dimly lit room. Irish car bombs. flaming dr peppers. love. drinking games and jokes. Huddles on the front lawn and speeches. Friendship.

54 days and this morning

Solar powered

I walked outside today and the temperature must have been seventy degrees. Shorts and a tshirt for the first time in ages. I felt the warm glow of the sun on my skin that was even cooled by a lazy breeze. The first wind in six months that hasnt had the fury of artic air in it. Freedom never felt so sweet. I sat on the step of a house waiting for the bus watching the people skit to and fro from their sunday afternoon obligations. Smiles illuminated the faces of these strangers. Joy I found their waiting for the bus. It hurt. The beauty of the simple day. Not even an extraordinary day in any capacity. After two months of freezing temperatures and icy ground though even the most ordinary day, the day common place day at home, seem so much bigger. I sat there and took in the sun lamenting the fact that i would soon be confined to this windowless room where I will slave away to increase my intellect via ritualistic torture...ie homework. But for that half as I rode my chariot from from one bus stop to another it was peaceful and harmonious. The funny thing? Throughout the wait and the ride to campus I could think only of another ride in the back of a 199 somthing Honda Civic with finger drawings on the back of the inside window from two summers ago. Of riding up Kanaan Dume listening to the Decembrists on our way to the beach not a care in the world. Heres to hoping we will never loose that ability.


45 days and this morning.

It will be like it never happened

f = [-1,0,1];
f = f*f';
blurred(I) = I convolved with f
//thats how you cheaply blur an image in case you were curious where I is the image

Today I learn that caffeine is not a substitute for sleep. Sleep is for the weak. I've said that on more than one occasion. No turns out sleep is the waking dream of the weary. Everythings blurs without sleep. Its like a fading photograph. Everything slowly turns a faded amber. Lack of sleep transforms life from a video to a serious of these faded photos. Its very jumpy. Sitting in class, formulas, numbers and algorithms assault your brain like mongol hordes sweeping over the great wall.

Shutter speed thats all it is. When you're tired your thinking slows down, and your brain goes into low power. Its ability to remember a continuous video is lost as the shutter of your mind stays closed for longer.

Also thinking is really hard. Time to take a test.
Its gonna be hard not to fail, but i probably wont remember so thats good

The world is n-dimensional where n is some value greater than 4 but less than infinity(?). It is hard to imagine an infinite dimensional space, but it might be possible I do not know. As mentioned previously, humans do not perceive all of these dimensions. So how do humans perceive all of these dimensions? A better first question is what is a dimension. A dimension is a duality. It is most easily thought of as a line.
Tentative dimension properties:
(1) There is an origin, or a neutral position. (what that means in all dimension it is hard to say)
(2) Going one way on the line increases the value of the dimension, while going the other way decreases the value of the dimension.
(3) If from the origin you go the same distance from center in both directions, then two "values" negate each other. (kind of a corollary of 2)

Think of a number line for example. Going one way increases the numerical value while going the other way decreases it. However, dimensions do not have to be numerical. Love-hate is a dimension. There can be a neutral position ie indifference. I don't know how to prove the theory that x amount of hate cancels out x amount of love. but I think that it is true. (which has always been enough for me, belief is more important than reality anyway)

But anyway so that is what a dimension is. The real world is some number of dimensions n and humans perceive some number of dimensions k that is less than n. The brain is a filter that maps the n dimensional world into the k dimensional world that we perceive. Information is lost in this process. Mapping from a higher dimension to a lower dimension causes an irrevocable loss of information. (always) Thus it is probably not possible to know everything about the real world. Good questions are what is the value of k and n. K is probably computable to a clever person, but thats a good topic for next time.

Next time: bases (base-eez)

They can touch anything but themselves.

Life is a narrowing of possibility. When you are born the possibilities are limitless. Not the possibilities for anything, but the straight possibility; the realm of possibility. The world as it could be at all times in all directions. Lets back up. So there are three dimensions of which humans are aware: the spatial directions. Four if you count time (which i do). (There are probably more than four dimensions that we are aware of, but thats neither here nor there for now. ) For arguments sake, there are four dimensions that we perceive. However, it is possible (duh duh chh) and probable that there are more than four dimensions that we cannot readily perceive. The realm of possibility is the sum of all the realms that are and more. It is the sum of everything that could have been. Everything is a subset of possibility. Nothing is contained in reality that is not possible. (If you can imagine it, it is possible and therefore very much real.

Life is the realization of possibility. When we are young, possibilities are infinite. As we grow and age. The world of possibilities before us shrinks. It shrinks gradually and slowly until there is only one possiblity left death. Think of it as a spark, born out of nothing (well out of energy really) a spark has limitless possibility, until it ignites something and the spark runs its course transforming the material to ash until there is nothing left but dust. Nothing left but one possibility:

Life is the expression, the translation, the mapping of the grandiose realm of possibility into the realm of human existence and experience.

More later on: dimensions, mappings, death, probability, information, surjectivity and injectivity

The streak ends at 3

"I feel so broke up, I wanna go home"
- The Beach Boys

Clearly, it was not meant for west coasters to go east. I mean even 500 years ago they figured this out. Always trying to get out of europe and sail west.

It's snowing today. The last of the snow melted yesterday. Now we're expecting about a foot today. Thats typical. It was like 60 the other night and my exact thought was surely we will pay for this later. Two nights ago i went to a slick rick concert. He is old school hip hop or something like that. He was pretty terrible, but the two bands before him were pimp. And his backup singer was hands down one of the cutest girls i've ever seen. So thats good. I highly recommend Bad Rabbits. Check them out on myspace. Cauz that doesnt sound creepy. Anyway that was pretty fun.

So its just me and my roommate Chris this week. Should be a fun week i'm sure that more posts will follow

Lovers stay on the road you're on?

Ladies and gentlemen please! Would you bring your attention to me?

So I was bored in class on Tuesday. Let's be honest here. There is not a lot to be said on the internet that hasn't been said somewhere before. The internet does a wonderful job of making sure that no one is special. Because if you search the entire blogosphere, then for anyone one post that you find you could find another that says more or less the same thing. You are not unique. You are not snowflakes. This is the lesson that the internet teaches us. I'm saying this because I know this and I need to justify this to anyone who reads this. I'm not pretentious enough to think my thoughts are new or relevant or important for anyone else. I know that my thoughts are the same more or less as everyone else. However, they are my thoughts. Which is important to me.

That being said, this is not for you. This is for me. This is a way to iteratively eliminate thoughts from my mind in the hope of advancement. Because then you win. (right). This blog i hope will become something interesting. By forcing myself to look at what I write/think, then hopefully this will spark some self growth, something that has been missing for a long time. So if you enjoy what you read here then please continue to read and comment furiously. No man is an island (or so the theory goes). Comments provide foils to my own thoughts and enhance the iterative process. (Did you see how that just happened? How i claimed to not care what other people think and then begged for their comments? Smooth.) Ready or not here I come.
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Hold tight cause the show is not over
If you will please move in closer
Your about to be bowled over
By the wonders you're about to behold here